Sooo I have the tendency sometimes to be kind of elitist.... But in my defense, I think once you've lived in new york city for a while, it just happens to you. I think I remember reading somewhere (probably in some kind of elitist nyc publication), about how its great when people you know from outside of nyc come to live here, but you don't actually want to hang out with them until a year after they've lived here. Now, as much as I wish I would have written that article myself, because it expresses all sentiments I have about people coming to nyc...isn't it just a little bit, well, closed-minded....mean?
I think yes, and no. I think its mean, partly because its kind of unreasonable. For instance, my "friend" who lives in Chicago now, and is moving to new york. I can't honestly tell her, "That's great, you'll have so much fun here! But, you know, I'm not going to hang out with you for another 12 months." You just can't say that to someone with a straight face. Even though, I kinda mean it.
I think back to when I first moved to new york. I think about the person that I was, the kinds of ideas and conceptions that I had about this great city. I think about the fact that I really had no idea what it was all about. And I think I liked it for the wrong reasons. There's no way that the me now would be friends with the me 6 years ago. And it has much less to do with the fact that I'm not friends with any 17 year olds.
The reason, is that this city really changes you. When you first get here, its totally exciting...you have no idea what will happen next; this city is full of surprises. But that's because you don't know the city yet. Just because you may know how to use the subway system (and come on, who doesn't know how to navigate this city..its on a grid for crissake!), it doesn't mean that you know the city. Its like a relationship with anything else, the longer that you are with it, the more intimate relationship you have with it. Like your new boyfriend or girlfriend...you may know that they like seafood, and going to concerts, and what kind of artists they like. But only when you've been with someone, for at least a year, I'll say, do you really start to get to know them..who they are. You learn their tendencies, the way they react in emergency situations, their idiosyncratic mannerisms that only you could like. Only after you've lived in nyc for a while do you start to know where things are, you'll start being able to recommend to other people great places you've been to...where the best of something is, things that you could only possibly know after you've walked each and every street at least 10 times.
Now, you could say that this is the same for many other things...especially other cities. But, you're probably saying that because you don't live here.
I think that most new yorkers would agree with me that there's something specific about living in new york for a while...it changes your outlook on life, you see things in different ways, horizons broaden, and you feel more cultured and sophisticated. Once you've been here for a while, the weathered, old, wise, person that you've become, you don't really want to hang out with a dim-witted high-schooler (thats somehow the only comparison I can come up with). And my major thing, is that its not my responsibility to show new york city to you! As ultimately, I cannot make you a new yorker overnight. I do wish my friend good luck though, on her year-long journey, and she should of course, call me in a year...
