All good things must come to an end. I looked it up, and apparently that saying dates back to Chaucer. Its one of those sayings that always depresses me when I think about it being true. Because I have a tendency to think sayings like that are true.
I was trying to cheer up a friend of mine--she had just broken up with her boyfriend--and I started to try and console her. First, with the very generic things you seem to say to others when bad things happen to them, ie. change is good, when a door closes a window opens, have a good attitude with these things and roll with the punches, there are many more fishes in the sea. As I was trying to tell her that its also okay to be sad, and that letting yourself have those feelings is good for you, I noticed myself start to be more, well, self aware of what I was doing. I was being a friend-cliche. Not even really thinking that much about what I was saying, just trying to get through these awkward moments of, knowing, that there is absolutely nothing, I mean NOTHING, that I can say that will really help her. But for some reason when people are in those situations, they just can't help it. Bottom line is that she has certain feelings, and she will feel those feelings no matter what anyone tells her to feel. That's just how every human is. You really do have to get through things on your own in most ways concerning feelings, especially sadness. That being said, and me realizing that truth. It did not stop me from trying to work out things, even in my own head.
What I came up with, was that things wouldn't be the same if they never ended. When you're sad because of a break-up, its much because of the experience that you miss. You never miss the things that went bad, or were bad in a relationship, and you only think about the good times. But what were those good times, really? They were experiences that you had. Maybe you always used to go to this one restaurant, and were regulars. Or you and another couple would hang out a lot and have such good times. Or you would go on vacation to your special place. Those are the things that you miss. And its not so much about the people, or even the places that you miss. Its the experiences, and you're sour about the fact that you can't have them anymore.
I was trying to cheer up a friend of mine--she had just broken up with her boyfriend--and I started to try and console her. First, with the very generic things you seem to say to others when bad things happen to them, ie. change is good, when a door closes a window opens, have a good attitude with these things and roll with the punches, there are many more fishes in the sea. As I was trying to tell her that its also okay to be sad, and that letting yourself have those feelings is good for you, I noticed myself start to be more, well, self aware of what I was doing. I was being a friend-cliche. Not even really thinking that much about what I was saying, just trying to get through these awkward moments of, knowing, that there is absolutely nothing, I mean NOTHING, that I can say that will really help her. But for some reason when people are in those situations, they just can't help it. Bottom line is that she has certain feelings, and she will feel those feelings no matter what anyone tells her to feel. That's just how every human is. You really do have to get through things on your own in most ways concerning feelings, especially sadness. That being said, and me realizing that truth. It did not stop me from trying to work out things, even in my own head.
What I came up with, was that things wouldn't be the same if they never ended. When you're sad because of a break-up, its much because of the experience that you miss. You never miss the things that went bad, or were bad in a relationship, and you only think about the good times. But what were those good times, really? They were experiences that you had. Maybe you always used to go to this one restaurant, and were regulars. Or you and another couple would hang out a lot and have such good times. Or you would go on vacation to your special place. Those are the things that you miss. And its not so much about the people, or even the places that you miss. Its the experiences, and you're sour about the fact that you can't have them anymore.
